To feel the warm thrill of confusion, that space cadet glow.
I got me some bad news for you, Sunshine.
Pink isn't well, he stayed back at the hotel,
And he sent us along as a surrogate band.
We're gonna find out where you fans really stand.
In the course of my travels on the internet I've come across some pretty fucked up opinions. 9/11 Inside-Jobbers. Moon Landing Hoaxers, Jew Banking Conspiracy nuts, Global Warming deniers, Birthers,... the number of goofy opinions that are floating through the ether is pretty frightening really.
Despite astonishing utility, the internet has also given a global voice to some really fucked up human beings.
For the most part, I can shrug off those opinions with which I disagree, or those that I know are completely insane, like those I mentioned up there.
But for some reason, I can't resist the urge to confront the pseudo-religious types.
Creationists annoy me, but not to any great degree because I can dismiss them as either willfully ignorant, or sadly uninformed. No way the earth is 6000 years old. Absolutely not possible. No chance the Bible is an accurate account of world history. Not possible. A fairy tale loaded with symbolism designed to keep the rabble in line.
Got it. So far, the religious argument is taken as seriously, in my mind, as people who think aliens are living among us. No skin off my nose if people want to believe that shit.
But some of them can't leave it at that.
The types that I find almost irresistible are the fuckheads who get right up in my grill with their fucked up ideas about how I should behave, or how you should burn in hell. I've never been able to stop myself from kicking these fuckers, figuratively speaking, in the balls.
There's just something about an asshole who displays astonishing ignorance in the act of condescension that it makes me pull off the road.
One such example is the Westboro Baptist Church in Topeka, Kansas.
A bigger bunch of shitheads could not be found on earth in a hundred years of searching.
I knew these people were human ooze when they began picketing the funerals of fallen US Troops. You see, the Westboro Baptist Church feels that God is punishing those who defend what they consider a "fag lifestyle."
Now generally speaking, I might just dismiss such shit as the unfortunate byproduct of the 1st Amendment, (and a hell of an argument against the 1st Amendment) but in reading up a bit on Westboro I've found that they're not some little shitbox in Topeka with a crazy fucking pastor, Fred Phelps, preaching hellfire and damnation on the lambs who have strayed from the righteous path of God, ...well they're not only that.
Westboro Baptist Church pickets an average of 6 places a day, up to 15 churches every Sunday, has picketed in every state in the union, and according to Phelps, the crazy fucking leader of these crazy fucking assholes, they've conducted over 30,000 pickets since 1991.
The Westboro Baptist Church has an annual travel budget of $200,000, and one member of the cult estimated that they spend almost $300,000 just on picketing every year.
GodHatesFags.com, GodHatesAmerica.com and GodHatesSweden.com are a a few of the websites operated by Phelps.
It's all about hating the fags with Westboro. That's why they picket funerals of fallen troops, ...because the US tolerates homosexuals in our society. Same reason they picket funerals of AIDS victims. The Sweden thing? They tolerate them homy-sekshals over there too.
Westboro Baptist Church in Topeka, KN worships a God who sounds like a real hateful asshole.
I've been doing some reading about Phelps and his insane family for the last couple of days, and I won't bore you with too many details other than the critical one. They're completely fucking insane.
According to Wiki...Phelps and Westboro have "targeted" President Ronald Reagan, Princess Diana, Supreme Court Chief Justice William Rehnquist, National Football League star Reggie White, Sonny Bono, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, atheists, Muslims, murdered college student Matthew Shepard, the late children's television host Fred Rogers, the late Australian actor Heath Ledger, Comedy Central's Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert, political commentator Bill O'Reilly, Jews, Catholics, Swedes, the Irish....
But it wasn't until Phelps and Westboro came out and praised Jared Loughner, that I pulled off the road and started to actually listen to what these fuckers are saying.
According to Phelps and the shit-eaters at Westboro Baptist Church, Jared Loughner was acting on behalf of God. In the case of Loughner, Phelps said that God was getting even with the people who are trying to stifle the message of Westboro Baptist Church, including Gabrielle Giffords who, according to Phelps, is an avid supporter of baby killing and sin, and "was shot for that mischief."
In referring to a lawsuit brought against Westboro in Baltimore, Phelps said that Judge John Roll "paid for that sin, ...with his life!"
(Apparently so did 9 year old Christina Taylor Green. She got whacked by God/Loughner because of the Baltimore lawsuit too.)
"Thank God for the violent shooter! One of your soldier heroes in Tucson." said Phelps in the same video released after the shooting. He delights in praising Loughner's body count "...wounding 16! At least 6 are dead....and counting."
"Westboro Baptist Church prays for more shooters, more violent veterans, and more dead. Praise God for his righteous judgments in this earth. Amen."
In all the ontological discussions/debates I've ever heard, I have yet to hear anyone give a lucid explanation that definitively proves the existence of God.
Gotta have faith.
And if ever there was a strong argument against the existence of, at the very least, an all-knowing, all-powerful Supreme Being, it's the very existence of Fred Phelps and the Westboro Baptist Church.
Are there any queers in the theatre tonight?
Get 'em up against the wall. -- 'Gainst the wall!
And that one in the spotlight, he don't look right to me.
Get him up against the wall. -- 'Gainst the wall!
And that one looks Jewish, and that one's a coon.
Who let all this riffraff into the room?
There's one smoking a joint, and another with spots!
(lyrics borrowed from Pink)