Saturday, April 23, 2011

Friends of Rahm

Recent reports have put a price of $880,000 on Rahm Emanuel's legal battle over his residency in Chicago. Or, for purposes of comparison, approximate the same amount of money he'll earn in his 6 years as our new mayor. That's $880K of his own money, and I'm not sure how much was spent by those who challenged Rahm.

Some might question why a man would spend $880,000 fighting to get a job that will pay him about the same amount of money over a 6 year span. Seems like a wash, right? And thus a net loss, since I'm pretty sure Rahm Emanuel would have done better than break-even financially in his career AHOCOSJ (after his Obama's chief of staff job. It's an unwieldy acronym. Working on it.)

Love of Da Great City uh Chicago I'm sure.

What other reason could there be?

Rahm's said he's not in it for the money, that it's been his dream job since he was a lad chopping off his own bird. And now his dream has come true. He gets to sit on the 5th Floor at 121 N. LaSalle and oversee the operations of this great city.

His predecessor, Richard M. Daley, was a retard whose financial sensibilities rival those of Gary Busey.

Rahm is looking at a checkbook that's $500+million overdrawn for 2011, and a City Council that isn't in the bag.

He's already cozying up to Fast Eddie Burke, chairman of the powerful city finance committee. It wasn't two months ago that Rahm was talking about cutting Burke's police security detail, and there were rumblings that a "Clash of the Titans" was imminent with Mayor Emanuel poised to strip Burke of his powerhouse job. Well, Fast Eddie can relax, Rahm has come to his senses and has decided that Burke gets to keep shaking the Tree of Influence.

But the City Council is a problem for Rahm. Several of Daley's old cronies are out, which means an entirely new blueprint of graft will need to be drawn with patronage jobs, kickbacks, payoffs, and no-bid 24-9 contracts dangling in the balance.

In a recent moment of apparent madness, Rahm proposed cutting the City Council itself in half!

Rahm said he was just thinking outside the box when he asked the 50 Aldermen what they thought of cutting the number of Aldermen to 25. When reached for comment, 25 Aldermen who agreed to speak on condition of anonymity said "Hey fuck that idea. That's too far outside the box. Tell Rahm we like the box." Rahm said he was just spitballing potential ways to save money, but I'm thinking he might have been trying to keep his friends close and his enemies out of the picture completely. Easier to manage 25 crooked Aldermen than 50, and maybe if the cards fell right he could gerrymander his way into a rubber stamp City Council. Oh well, Rahm will have to try to herd 50 cats.

Then there's the matter of the unions. Rahm's not a big fan of government unions. Chicago is a city of influential government unions. If Rahm has any ideas about pulling a Walker Gambit and playing hardball with Chicago's teachers, firefighters, or police he's in for a very rude awakening. Said it before and now again, we'll make the protests in Madison look like a picnic in Sheboygan.

He's inherited a huge mess.

And into all of this strolls Rahm Emanuel, acting like he's got a plan.

Why on earth would anyone want this job?

I don't want to give the impression that Rahm's an unpopular guy. He's got lots of friends.

Take Barack Obama for instance, and his new Chief of Staff Bill Daley. Rahm's certainly got some pull in Washington, which may pay off. I know he's got friends in Hollywood, by way of his brother.

A guy named Haim Saban from Beverly Hills, CA (and from Fox Family Network) contributed $300,000. A woman named Cheryl Saban, also from Beverly Hills tossed in $100,000 followed by another $100,000 from that Haim Saban guy again. I wonder if they're related. (probably, they list the same Wishire Ave. address)

That would explain why a Mr. David Geffen from Beverly Hills, CA gave Rahm $100K last October. And a Mr. Steven Spielberg, from Los Angeles kicked in $75K.  Oh and, Mr. Jeffrey Katzenberg tossed in $25K

There's $25,000 from a Mr. Steve Jobs, and another $25,000 from a Laurene Powell who also goes by the name Laurene Jobs. They're in the computer business.

A group calling themselves "Friends of Rahm," who live in PO Box 101124 in Chicago,IL "transferred in"  a click over $1.1million.

It's not just the big bucks that are flowing to Rahm. A guy named Michael Dorf from 16 Vestry St. in New York, NY sent $16 to Rahm in March, which was after Rahm had already won the mayoral race. Rahm's friends are very enthused about him having the big chair.

There is one contribution that puzzles me....just 2 days before Christmas, a check for $50,000, and listing a return address of 725 5th Ave. New York, NY. That one came from a Mr. Donald Trump, who if I'm not mistaken is considering running for president as a Republican. Not only that, I seem to recall reading that Mr. Trump is suspicious of Barack Obama's citizenship. That's Rahm's old boss! And yet, for some reason, Trump felt the need to give 50 grand to Rahm Emanuel.

I wonder what they all think they're buying with their LINK to Rahm.


Anonymous said...

Trump probly needs a couple of extra garbage cans, Schmutz. You know - out with da old and in wid da new.

- - Robert

Michael said...

He's taking credit for Obama producing the birth cert R. What a complete asshat.

Cindy said...

I love the word asshat.

No one uses it nearly enough.